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Faux Outrage

Literally the most important blog in the universe since 2010.

Blaming the blameless.

The first thing I would like to do on this blog is disclaim all responsibility for what is about to happen.  Chances are, if you are reading any of these primary posts, you made me do this.


Evil, Accusing Monkey

Now, I know this is an uncomfortable realization, and I know that you’re trying to wiggle your way out this responsibility at this very moment, but it’s time to accept the simple fact that that since the day of my birth, you have done at least one of the following:

1. Explicitly made the following statement: “You should start a blog.”
2. Casually indicated that you enjoyed reading what I have written.
3. Said, in my presence, “That’s funny!” or “That’s interesting!” or “Zach, are you honestly still talking?”
4. Smiled at me in a way that could be interpreted as you appreciating something — anything! — about what I have said.
5. Said something, at some point, to anyone, about anything.

But, don’t worry.  I can handle this.

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