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Faux Outrage

Literally the most important blog in the universe since 2010.

nar·cis·sism (noun) :: inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

You will find that reading this blog is like reading Ayn Rand’s Anthem backwards on Opposite Day.  (Reverse, alternate universe spoiler alert!) The first thing you will notice is “EGO”  and the pages following will be littered with “I”.  (Even now, I am thinking about how surprised I am at myself for beginning my first ‘real’ post with a reference to Ayn “The Looter” Rand.)  Frankly, I think author (“me”) and audience (“not me”) should be honest about the nature of the Faux Outrage relationship.  I am writing this because I love myself, and you are reading this because you are bored (or are my mother).

There is almost no other reason to start a blog other than to shout, atop the highest mountain, that you are in possession of two stone tablets and there is so much the world simply must know if it is to survive.  So, to that end, feel relieved knowing that you know that I know that this is, above all, a vanity fair (lack of fried dough notwithstanding).  Of course, the only thing more painful than being overtly narcissistic is the irony (“I”-rony!) of recognizing my own narcissism and unapologetically discussing it.  “Look at me!  I recognize that I recognize I constantly recognize myself!”

Seriousness Alert: That said, regardless of my self-love-related reasons for starting Faux Outrage, I can honestly (earnestly!) say that I believe we owe it to ourselves to document that which might otherwise be lost.  We spend so much time enveloped in our minds and so little time translating our firing synapses into readable, recordable language.  Without getting too grim, I’m reminded of neuroscientist David Eagleman, who observes that death occurs in three stages:  “[T]he first is when the body ceases to function, and the second is when the body is put in the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time.”  When we consume art and media, and when we reference the work of others, the creators live on (in perpetuity, if they are lucky).

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve started this blog because I love myself and I want to live forever.

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