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Faux Outrage

Literally the most important blog in the universe since 2010.

“Zach!  It’s been a week since the last Faux Word of the Day! I demand another fake word to add to my real vocabulary!”

Okay, okay.  I have heard your (completely fabricated) voices.

Today’s word is fauxjectivity.

fauxjectivity (foh-jik-tiv-i-tee)

a manner of communication whereby the speaker intentionally and maliciously attempts to mislead the audience by presenting him/herself as undistorted by emotion or personal bias.

For example: “If I have to read one more fauxjective OpEd in the Washington Post, I’m going to…realize why the newspaper industry is dying a slow, horrible death.”

The best examples of fauxjectivity — besides the obvious/aforementioned “OpEd” — are being texted (and possibly even sexted!) right now to cellphones across the universe.  In these text messages, you will find clear and present fauxjectivity where an interested party pseudo-earnestly suggests that the receiver should most certainly break up with their current squeeze for reasons related to undeniable facts X, Y, and Z.  And then they pounce.  Like a panther!

All things considered — and I’m not just saying this — I think fauxjectivity is one of the most exciting new words of the year.

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